Relations and Me ...!!!

As a kid i was a very adorable one, one with whom everybody enjoyed be it older or be the kids of same age group. I used to be a person who enjoyed having quite gud relationship with everyone i came across to . But times changed and so did the persons around me and so did i and today i know, not surely for better when it comes to relationships.

When i moved to Kota for studies, i met different type of persons. Persons who will stand by you but only if u can stand to their expectations. So there i learnt that most of the relationships are nothing but just a business though unobserved for all and an unusual one for me. So i started being a person who was very selective in making or maintaining relations. Till then it was right as i was also busy with my acads and never really cared for persons to stand by me as i was a self gratified person.And thanks to some really great friends who let me realize that it is all about understanding rather than the word "Relation".

Then i moved to Mumbai to pursue my engineering, first day at college and i knew choices to make new relations are quite less as i wasn't half as good as other guys were and everyone expects something better. And that didn't help, so i started developing in to a introvert kind of person and then as time passed by, life and persons i had lived up to all expectations of started disappointing to me , the word "Relation" lost it shine. And i came across to persons i had such great understanding with that i wudn't hesitate to take any decision of them for me.

Today i neither have any "Relations" nor any of the long lasting emotions with anyone, all i have with others is understanding which is always at the same level with certain person and i know there are not many with whom level is above my expectations. People say i am not gud at relations and i say relations have never been to me. Whatever it is, i am quite happy with the way i interact with people though sometimes my expectations are too high a barrier but then not always u gain in business!!!

Loneliness ...from my point of view !!!

Some people have asked me this question several times that "Why you like to be lonely most of the times while you have so many good companions to walk with" and i always replied with a smile or some odd reason. The fact is that to me walking alone or being with no one doesn't mean loneliness.

I feel that loneliness is not in walking without having someone on your side, But you are alone when you stand with the people who can not understand you exactly the way u want them to, you are alone when everybody around you is talking and you can still feel the silence, you are in solitude when u stand with the people to whom u need to give a reason for everything u do.

And that is the reason i avoid being in groups where i can create misunderstandings, the reason i prefer one on one relationships, and of course the reason because of which i prefer to "Walk Alone "...!!!

Destiny !!!!

When i thought of the past,
i felt it is just like yesterday.
what is ambitions as of now,
will be destiny some day.

As it always have been in the past
everything i have achieved is,
something for, i had worked really hard
but then destiny took all the credit.

I was left wondering that
whether it is really something different or,
nick to the efforts i put for the work
that i had done in the past.

Today i face the same ground
searching for the answers from the past,
whether my future is my destiny or
it is paycheck for good work of past.